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REVIEW: ‘SPANK!’ makes sold-out Paramount audience cry with laughter

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Danielle Trzcinski is all wide-eyed innocence as virginal Tasha Woode in "SPANK! The Fifty Shades Parody," which had female fans swooning Friday night (5/10/13) at the Paramount Theatre in Cedar Rapids. (Timn Greenway photo)

CEDAR RAPIDS — A full house of (mostly) female fans yelped and screamed throughout “SPANK!” last night (5/10/13) at the Paramount Theatre.

They weren’t in pain — although some of the singing and writing was purposely painful. Instead, this “Fifty Shades of Grey” theatrical parody makes its audience writhe in laughter.

I see no Tony Awards in its future. It’s more like a two-hour “Saturday Night Live” sketch with plenty of bumping, grinding and naughty bits, punctuated by pop songs with “new” trashy lyrics. “Tainted Love” is the perfect theme song for this show — a bit of fan-fic based on the wildly popular fan-fic trilogy that swept pop culture off its feet last spring and summer.

The play follows the path of E.L. James’ books, quickly dubbed “mommy porn,” in which brainiac college virgin Anastasia Steele’s educational path deviates when she trips and falls into the arms of Christian Grey, a debonair, dominating megamogul billionaire with an appetite for S&M whips and chains.

As with many parodies, the stage version isn’t endorsed by James or her publishing company, so the names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent. The play’s onstage writer is E.B. Janet and the characters she creates are Tasha Woode and Hugh Hanson. Same basic plot, same grey silk necktie binding the lovers in knot after naughty knot.

Anne Marie Scheffler is hilarious as author Janet, a bored housewife determined to make the most of her weekend free of her husband and kids, kicking back and cranking out a sex fantasy trilogy. What could be so hard about that? Apparently, singing and dancing. Janet isn’t good at either, but I suspect the highly trained actress with an extensive comedy resume was trying to be bad, in which case, she was good, if not great. Especially hilarious were the moments following the steamy scenes, in which she batted her eyes with wide-eye innocence and simply said, “You’re welcome.”

Gabe Bowling sets plenty of hearts afire in "SPANK!" (Mills Entertainment photo)

Gabe Bowling was a hunka hunka burning love, dressed and undressed, gyrating through Hanson’s 50 shades of shadowy grey, blurring the lines of bad-boy goodness, kindling Woode’s fire. Danielle Trzcinski is his match as Tasha, adding spunky spark to their burning fires of passion.

The dialogue is as awful as in the books, which is no easy feat. It’s hard to write badly, unless you’re a bad writer to begin with — then it’s easy. This is hard.

Anyway, back to the story. Boy opens door, girl falls into his arms, he shows up at the hardware store where she works, buys some rope and duct tape, asks her out, ties her up, binding her heart and her hands as time goes on. They navigate his jet-set lifestyle in helicopters, hovercrafts, jetpacks and hang gliders, landing time and again in his Red Room of Pain.

It ain’t Shakespeare, but the Bard was bawdy in his own right, it’s just that he really could write, right?

“SPANK!” is trashy, flashy fun — two hours of escapism embraced by a mostly young audience ready to cut loose in best bachelorette party fashion. Even my inner goddess was ready for a cigarette at intermission, and I don’t smoke. This show does.

Miss it last night or desiring more tonight? It’s playing three times this weekend in Dubuque. Laters, baby.

FAST TAKE

What: “SPANK! The Fifty Shades Parody”

When: 4 and 7 p.m. Saturday (5/11) and 2 p.m. Sunday (5/12)

Where: Mississippi Moon Bar, Diamond Jo Casino, 301 Bell St., Dubuque:

Tickets: $29.75 to $39.75, (563) 690-4758 or Diamondjo.com

Show website: Spankshow.com

 

Cedar Rapids comedian hopes to break Guinness World Record

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The Midnight Swinger

The Midnight Swinger is getting ready for the longest one-night mic stand of his life.

David Scott, 43, really is a standup guy from Cedar Rapids, but his larger-than-life alter-ego is a Vegas lounge comedian who does clean, upstanding material. One and the same, they aim to shatter the 40-hour Guinness World Record for longest one-man comedy show.

Scott will step into the spotlight at 6 a.m. Monday (4/29) in the Diamond Jo Casino’s Mississippi Moon Bar in Dubuque. His goal is to finish at the midnight cusp between Tuesday and Wednesday.

“Technically, I break the record at 40 hours and 1 minute,” he says by phone en route to a recent gig in Peoria, Ill. “If I break the record and there’s still a big crowd, I might just keep going a little longer.”

The details

However, he has to be back onstage at 6 p.m. Wednesday (5/1) to host the casino’s second-annual Comedy $10K preliminary rounds, which begin at 7 and 9 p.m. through May 3. Comedians from around the country will vie for a share of $10,000 in prizes. Kristi Lee of “The Bob and Tom Show” will host the semi-finals and finals at 7 and 9 p.m. May 4.

Scott isn’t normally a marathon man.

“I run when I’m chased and that’s as far as it goes. You cannot pay me money to run a marathon. I could say I’m ‘a marathon lover,’ but now I’m just trying to score points,” he says with a laugh. “I’ve never done anything like this. This is a one-time only event.

“I will do this one time, I will break record, I will never do this again. If my record gets broken a month from now, I will not try to capture it back. The preparation has been crazy. The amount of prep work, the amount of material, the overall anxiety level have been so crazy, I will never ever attempt this again,” he declares.

The odyssey started as a joke he made during a podcast in Chattanooga, Tenn., in November 2012. His agent, Jeff Johnson of USA Entertainment in Fairfax, heard it, liked the idea and contacted the Diamond Jo. Scott says the casino jumped at the chance to land a world-record attempt in conjunction with its comedy festival.

“What started off as an off-the-cuff remark became reality in like, 96 hours,” he says.

In mid-December, he contacted the Guinness folks and by the end of January, he had the green-light.

“From that point on, it’s just been going crazy — chicken-with-the-head-cut-off — trying to get everything done.”

He has strict rules to follow. A minimum of 10 people have to be watching at all times. The casino, open 24/7, has guaranteed that, Scott says. He has to hold the microphone — no mic stand, no lapel mic. He’s had to rewrite jokes to accommodate having a corded mic in his hand, and he has to carry that mic offstage before he can let it go for his scheduled breaks.

For every 60 minutes, he’s allowed a 5-minute break, but he’s working up the stamina to go four hours at a stretch, so he can have a 20-minute break.

He’s been preparing since January, working with a nutritionist to make sure his body is burning calories efficiently. He’s stepped up his physical workouts to build muscle mass and endurance.

He’s also writing more material, since the longest show he’s done to date has been around 95 minutes.

“I’ve been writing down anything I think is even remotely funny,” he says, amassing “hundreds” of pieces of paper. He’s aiming for 12 hours of material before he has to start repeating jokes.

He describes The Midnight Swinger as “a cross between a Vegas Rat Pack lounge show and a Super Bowl halftime experience.”

“It’s high-energy, over-the-top craziness,” he says. “I don’t stand at a microphone telling jokes. There’s singing, there’s dancing, there’s impressions, there’s costume changes. … I’ve never actually considered myself a comedian. I’ve always considered myself a showman entertainer in the vein of a Sammy Davis Jr. I try to be a triple-threat: you can sing, you can dance, you can do comedy. It’s a fun show. I’m not dirty, I don’t do R-rated comedy, I don’t use f -bombs — I stay away from all that.

“The show I’ve come up with is meant to be fun. If you walk into my show, you’ll walk out singing. I never tried to reinvent the wheel. My job as an entertainer is to make people laugh. That’s all I’m trying to do.”

He’s been honing his craft for 20 years, with gigs around the country and on HBO and Comedy Central. Breaking the record won’t net him any cash, but he is hoping it could be a stepping stone to making the late-night talk shows with David Letterman, Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.

“I’ve never had the credentials to get on their shows,” he says.

A world record might just change all that.

Grounded in comedy

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Don’t expect a lot of mushy stuff from Tom Arnold Thursday night (2/14) at Penguins Comedy Club.

“It’s sort of funnier when you hear things that maybe weren’t so lovey-dovey, when you hear things that might have gone wrong here and there,” Arnold, 53, says by phone from his home in Beverly Hills.

“I try, at least in my comedy, to be honest about some things and tell some, hopefully, funny stories. I wasn’t planning on working on Valentine’s Day, because that’s always a touchy one — to be on the road for that. But I was already going to be in Iowa, so I said why not?”

The details

His Valentine isn’t joining him on this trip to his home state. Wife Ashley, whom he married in November 2009, is at home awaiting the birth of the couple’s first child.

“We’re having a baby in a few weeks,” Arnold says. “We’re very excited. That’s why I’m doing a road trip, going on the road for a little over a month. Hopefully I’ll be back home here a month before the baby’s due, then be around and do that stuff. It seemed like a good time to go on the road. … All is well and we’re very excited. It’s my first child and Ashley’s first child. It’s been a long time and we’re very happy.”

For the high he’s riding now, the Ottumwa native and diehard Iowa Hawkeye fan has had just as many lows, through failed marriages and a drug addiction. That’s all behind him now. He’s always been very honest and forthcoming about those harsh realities, weaving the bad with the good into his standup routines.

Related: Listen to a podcast with Tom Arnold and The Gazette’s Mike Hlas

“I talk about my life,” he says. “I talk about the funny things that haven happened in my career. Obviously, I’m talking about being a father right off the bat — I am little older, and I talk about that process and what that’s been like and how that happened.

“Then I have stories about the different people I’ve worked with in show business and in different situations — funny stories, hopefully, that people can relate to and people probably know a little something about,” he says.

“To me, that’s my kind of comedy. It has to be honest … There’s some weird things that have happened, and I take people through some of that stuff in my life and personalize it, and hopefully it’s enjoyable.

“Some comedians just do jokes and you don’t know where they’re coming from exactly, and that’s great. If you see Jerry Seinfeld, he does brilliant jokes, but you really don’t know much about him, personally.  I’ve gone the other way. I think if there’s laughs to be had at my expense, I should be the one doing it onstage. That’s been my theory since I began being in the public eye,” he says.

Comedy was his saving grace at an early age. He grew up in Ottumwa, where his father, step-mother and lots of family members still live. His mother, however, left home when he was very young, which made him a target for taunting by his peers.

“You walk to school in a neighborhood and the kids know your mom moved out, they’re mean,” he says. “They’re mean for whatever reason. I just remember being in class one day, and I sort of disrupted class, trying to be funny, writing something inappropriate on the chalk board.  The kids that made fun of me started laughing. I said, ‘Well that’s a good feeling, that I like.’ So I tried to be funny throughout school.”

He really discovered his comedy chops in 1982, when he hit the stage during an open mic night at the University of Iowa student union. Standup comedy “was something I wanted to try,” he says.

“I got up there and I brought all my buddies and we had some Everclear punch. … I thought I was super funny, because my friends all laughed. Then the next year, in ’83, I moved to Minneapolis to really try to be a comedian and found out it was much harder if your audience is not incredibly intoxicated.”

Five years later, he moved to Los Angeles to write for his now-ex-wife Roseanne’s television show. He’s been there ever since, writing and acting for films and TV. But it all comes back to standup comedy.

“I feel like a lot of good things in other parts of my career come from standup,” he says. “It keeps you fresh. I also write still — I just turned in a movie for Relativity, which is a big studio out here.

“I continue to write, and I just think that doing standup is the genesis of a lot of creative stuff. It gets your mind working — you have to think, you have to write, you have to be on top of stuff. And as performer, whether you’re an actor or whatever, it’s a great opportunity. Not every actor gets an opportunity to go in front of live audiences … and I get asked to do it a lot. It’s all those things combined. It’s a challenge,” he says.

“I’m challenged going to Iowa in February. It’s really stupid on paper, but people will come out, so I’ll get there. It’s not easy to get there, but I’ll get there.”

And when he does, he’ll see lots of family and friends, maybe some Hawkeye basketball action and his favorite comfort foods.

“I have to be careful,” he says. “I was in New Orleans (for the Super Bowl) and it is all about the food. You gain 8 pounds when you get off your plane in New Orleans. Iowa is the same way. There’s some very fattening food that I enjoy in Iowa — the loose meat sandwiches and pork tenderloins. … I have to pace myself, and I will do that.”

 

Related: Tom Arnold will also be performing at the follow locations:

  • Dubuque: 7 and 9:30 p.m. Friday (2/15), Mississippi Moon Bar, Diamond Jo Casino; $27 and $37, (563) 690-4758 or Dubuquetickets.diamondjo.com
  • Fairfield: 7:30 p.m. Saturday (2/16), Fairfield Arts & Convention Center; $23 to $32, (641) 472-2787 or Fairfieldacc.com

3 THINGS TO DO this weekend (9/8 to 9/14)

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Brucemorchestra IV: Crown Imperial

Saturday, Sept. 10

As the sun goes down, the stars will shine as Orchestra Iowa launches its 90th season in regal style with music of the British and Roman empires. Couldn’t hop the pond for the royal wedding? Never fear, you can still hear live the music that escorted Kate down the aisle as a commoner and back up as a Windsor. The first half will be full of such pomp and circumstance, as well as “Pomp and Circumstance.” Then get ready to hear the majestic “Pines of Rome” bounce off the majestic pines of Brucemore mansion. And don’t forget to pack a picnic and blanket or chair, and prepare to relax royally. Gates open at 6 p.m.

Brucemorchestra IV: Crown Imperial

7:30 p.m. Saturday (9/10), Brucemore, 2160 Linden Dr. SE, Cedar Rapids; $20 that day, $15 in advance; Orchestraiowa.org; (319) 366-8203

 

Boogie Nights: Tiffany

Friday, Sept. 9

Pull your hair into a side ponytail, slick back your mullet and get ready to relive the ’80s when Boogie Nights at the Mississippi Moon Bar puts Tiffany under the mirror ball. Join the Friday series regulars Mr. Boogie, Roller Girl, Hula Hoop Girl, celebrity impersonators and other ’70s and ’80s icons shaking their groove thangs to the sweet sounds that gave us such retro-hits as “I Think We’re Alone Now,” “Could’ve Been,” “I Saw Him Standing There” and “All This Time.” The pop chanteuse has crossed over to country with her new “Rose Tattoo” CD, so you may even hear what she’s been up to lately.

Boogie Nights: Tiffany

8 p.m. Friday (9/9), Mississippi Moon Bar, Diamond Jo Casino, 301 Bell St., Dubuque; $10 to $100 ages 21 and over; (563) 690-4758; http://dubuquetickets.diamondjo.com

 

An Evening with Judy Collins

Wednesday, Sept. 14

For more than 40 years, Judy Collins has been bridging folk music with contemporary issues, best known for creating classic renditions of Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now” and Stephen Sondheim’s “Send in the Clowns.” She wowed a Hancher crowd at the Coralville Marriott in 2008, putting new spins on her best-loved songs and inviting the audience to sing along. And of course, she couldn’t resist injecting a few political opinions, as well. She was a class act all the way, and we expect nothing less from her upcoming concert at The Englert.

An Evening with Judy Collins

8 p.m. Wednesday (9/14), Englert Theatre, 221 E. Washington St., Iowa City; $40; (319) 688-2653; www.englert.org

Things to do this weekend (8/11-8/17)

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Sand In The City

Sand in the City

Friday to Sunday, Aug. 12 to 14

Downtown Iowa City will be tons of fun this weekend, literally. In just seven hours Friday, 13 teams will shape, mold and sculpt 200 tons of sand into bookish works of art, honoring Iowa City’s UNESCO City of Literature designation and the bookmark sculptures posted throughout the area. In keeping with the festival’s family-friendly theme, the sculptures will reflect scenes from children’s stories and books. But that’s not all the fun in the sun. This festival also features a kids’ sand pit, music by the FunkDaddies on Friday night, food and art vendors, more music and entertainment all weekend, and the family film “Lilo and Stitch” after dark Saturday in front of Macbride Hall. This is one event we guarantee you’ll dig.

Sand in the City

9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday (8/12), 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday (8/13), 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday (8/14), downtown Iowa City; free; www.summerofthearts.org

 

Woody Guthrie

Woody Guthrie’s American Song

Friday, Aug. 12, to Aug. 28

The voice that told us “this land is your land, this land is my land” lives on through a theatrical piece making its Iowa debut Friday night in Amana. Local actors and musicians will bring the folk hero to life through word and song, beginning in his home state of Oklahoma, to walking a ribbon of highway during the Dust Bowl Days, then from the redwood forests to the New York island. It’s a snapshot of history made for you and me.

Woody Guthrie’s American Song

Friday (8/12) to Aug. 28, Iowa Theatre Artists Company, 4709 220th Trl., Amana; 7:30 p.m. Fridays, 1:30 and

7:30 p.m. Saturdays, 1:30 p.m. Sundays; $20 adults (opening night $18), $10 students at (319) 622-3222; www.iowatheatreartists.org

 

Pat Benetar

Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo

Aug. 18

The heat is on for Pat Benatar’s first trip to Dubuque. General admission tickets are all that’s left for next Thursday night’s hard rockin’ roll down memory lane. She’s racked up an impressive string of platinum and gold records, fueled by such hits as “Love is a Battlefield,” “Hit Me with Your Best Shot,” “Heartbreaker,” “Shadows of the Night” and “Promises in the Dark.” Joining her onstage is her husband, Neil Giraldo. A songwriter and lead guitarist, he also produced all of Benatar’s albums. Sounds like his best shot was right on target.

Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo

8 p.m. Aug. 18, Mississippi Moon Bar, Diamond Jo Casino, 301 Bell St., Dubuque; $35 to $95 ages 21 and over,

(563) 690-4758 or http://dubuquetickets.diamondjo.com

Best Bets: Three things to do this weekend

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Tom Green: World Standup Comedy Tour
Thursday and Saturday, Feb. 10 and 12

It’s not easy being Green. Or is it? The Canadian chameleon is an actor, rapper, writer, comedian, media personality, in the middle of his first World Standup Comedy Tour. His outrageous antics garnered media attention when he hosted MTV’s “The Tom Green Show” and in a prominent cameo role in the 2000 film “Road Trip.” He went on to marry and divorce Drew Barrymore, survive testicular cancer, direct and star in the 2001 film “Freddy Got Fingered” and pen “Hollywood Causes Cancer.” He hosts his Internet talk show, “Tom Green’s House Tonight,” from his living room. Known for being rude, lewd and socially unacceptable, clips from his standup routine look pretty funny. Check ’em out at www.tomgreen.com.

Green: World Standup Comedy Tour

  • Cedar Rapids: 7 and 9:30 p.m. Feb. 10, Penguins Comedy Club/Cedar Rapids Piano Lounge, 208 Second Ave. SE; ages 21 and over, $25, Penguins, (319) 362-8133 or http://penguinscomedyclub.com
  • Dubuque :8 p.m. Feb. 12, Mississippi Moon Bar, Diamond Jo Casino, 301 Bell St., Dubuque; ages 21 and over, $27 and $37, (563) 690-4758 or http://dubuquetickets.diamondjo.com

Fab Five Show Choir Extravaganza
Saturday, Feb. 5

Prep and varsity show choirs from Jefferson, Kennedy, Linn-Mar, Prairie and Washington high schools will spread their glee Saturday at the Prairie Performing Arts Center in southwest Cedar Rapids. The evening varsity show is sold out, but tickets remain to catch the rising stars in action during the prep show choir concert at 4 p.m. Whether swirling in a sea of sequins and chiffon or the latest fads, these young performers always crank up enough energy to power a small town.

Fab Five Show Choir Extravaganza

Saturday (2/5), 4 p.m. Prep Show Choir Concert, Prairie Performing Arts Center, 401 76th Ave. SW, Cedar Rapids; $12 at the door. Varsity show at 7:30 p.m. is sold out

The Second City: ‘Fair and Unbalanced’
Friday and Saturday, Feb. 4 and 5

Politics and Hollywood — a marriage made in heaven for the improv masters from The Second City. We can only imagine the funny business those topics create for Chicago’s sketch comedy super troupers, coming to the Englert this weekend. Second City shows tend to be first-rate, especially the parts the performers dream up on the spot, using audience suggestions. And you never know when you’ll see the next big star. Second City has turned out luminaries ranging from Alan Alda, Ed Asner and Joan Rivers to Tina Fey, Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert.

The Second City: “Fair and Unbalanced”

8 p.m. Friday and Saturday (2/4 and 2/5), Englert Theatre, 221 E. Washington St., Iowa City; $27 adults, $22 students, 319) 688-2653, www.englert.org

Don’t Give Up on Joe Cocker

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Who: Joe Cocker in concert

When: 8 p.m. Saturday

Where: Mississippi Moon Bar, Diamond Jo Casino, 301 Bell St., Dubuque

Tickets: $45, $95, $150 through (563) 690-4800 or www.diamondjo.com

DUBUQUE – Joe Cocker says his “Hymn for my Soul” CD isn’t autobiographical, but the track “Don’t Give Up on Me” could very well be.

It’s been 40 years since Cocker helped rock Woodstock and on Wednesday he turns 65.

“People said I’d never make 40,” he says in a phone interview from Ontario, one of the stops on a whirlwind tour that will bring him to Dubuque’s Diamond Jo Casino on Saturday.

“To be still rocking and still playing to people around the world feels privileged.”

He’s laid to rest many of the demons that have plagued him through his storied career and is in a good, stable place in his life.

“I’ve been married almost 20 years to Pam. I met her when she was working for Jane Fonda years ago in Santa Barbara. She’s hung in there. I’ve often thought it’s got to be hard being married to a rocker. I quit boozin’ about eight years ago. Weird isn’t it? Fans I’ve known backstage who want to hang out with me still don’t get it.”

He credits his wife for keeping him grounded. They’ve traded California living for the high life on their Mad Dog Ranch in Crawford, Colo.

“It’s on the western slope,” he says. “Aspen’s about an hour away.” But the ski migration doesn’t reach their place. “Where we live was basically a hunting area, so that’s the only time of year we get really invaded.”

Originally looking for a little getaway place, Cocker fell in love with the area. “There’s something about the four seasons,” he says. And when he’s not on the road, he spends about two hours every day walking with his dogs. He says his canine companions the best deterrents for bears. “Even with a couple of dogs, you have to keep your eyes pealed,” he says.

Now that he’s on the road, those walks will fall by the wayside and the numbers on the scales are likely to go up.

“I tend to put on a few pounds when we start rolling,” he says with a laugh. “It used to be the other way around.”

Another difference between touring then and now is the view from the stage.

“It’s always a bit odd,” he says with a mellow British accent that belies his trademark raspy vocals. “I used to tint my hair a little bit, but I finally decided to let it go. When I see all these people with gray hair (in the audience), I don’t recognize them. God, it’s a weird world.”

His tour started April 17 in Florida and ends July 18 in Memphis. “We’ve done nine shows – only 44 to go,” he says.

Will the fans hear a lot of cuts from his latest CD, released in 2008?

“Not really, luv. I’ve learned over the years to do most of the hits in the space of an hour and a half, so now I’ll only do the title track.” And he knows those hits have to include “The Letter” and his favorite, “You Are So Beautiful.”

“It’s a lovely song Billy Preston wrote,” he says. “I sang it at his funeral. It’s a powerful tune that’s always different every night.

“I’ve seen grown men cry, so it is a powerful little tune. It still gets me wrapped up some nights when you look into people’s eyes. It was originally a gospel song and Billy just turned the words around.”

Cocker has been turning things around since his boyhood days in Sheffield, England. In the beginning, he was a drummer.

“I played in Vance Arnold and The Avengers – in those days they gave us funny names,” he says. “But nobody sang and played drums, so I let them go. I do regret I didn’t take up guitar. In my teens, so many guitar players were hanging around ready to play so I never really felt pressed to learn.”

Instead, he discovered Ray Charles and developed what into what he calls “a white soul singer.”

“Ray Charles had such a big influence on us in the late ’60s,” he says. “When I first heard Ray, I dropped everything and studied him for hours.” But unlike Charles, he doesn’t play piano, which he says “is a shame.”

So now, he says, “with a choice of songs, I can pick up any kind of tune but approach it as a soul singer.”

And he doesn’t plan to quite any time soon.

“We have a big house in Colorado. I keep working a lot to maintain it,” he says. “I don’t have a lot of royalties – I don’t write tunes so I’m still working for a living.”

But it isn’t all about personal gain. His wife, Pam, started Cocker Kids Foundation.

“It raises money for local kids who have an idea and want to do something special, ” he says. “Maybe they need to go to Europe to study art – we give them a chance. We also bought computers for a school.

“It’s kind of nice to give back a bit.”

– Diana Nollen, The Gazette

Three things to do this weekend

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0514_hoo_slipknot

Slipknot
Thursday, May 14

Heavy metal takes over downtown Cedar Rapids Thursday night when Des Moines-natives Slipknot rolls into town for another attention-grabbing concert at the U.S. Cellular Center. The nine-member, mask-wearing, hard-metal-playing crew – including DJ Sid Wilson, drummer Joey Jordison, Paul Gray, percussionist Chris Fehn, Jim Root, sampler Craig “133″ Jones, percussionist M. Shawn “Clown” Crahan, guitarist Mick Thomson and vocalist Corey Taylor – take the stage in Cedar Rapids as part of their “All Hope is Gone” World Tour (they head to Germany in just a few weeks). The group has been together since 1995 and, while each band member has worked on side projects (Taylor and Root also play with Stone Sour), they remain dedicated to their shock and rock shows. Jumpsuits and all.
Slipknot
7 p.m. Thursday (5/14) U.S. Cellular Center, 370 First Ave., Cedar Rapids, Tickets are $39.50 to $45, www.uscellularcenter.com or www.slipknot1.com

HOUBY DAYS

Houby Days and Taste of Czech & Slovak
Friday to Sunday, May 15 to 17

Head on down to Czech Village this weekend for Houby Days. Houby means “mushroom” in Czech, and the festival celebrates the tasty fungi. Security and safety concerns by the city due to last years flood have curtailed events, which will end by 9 p.m., but business can maintain their normal operating hours. Parking will be tight, but attendees are encouraged to park by the Riverside Roundhouse and the National Czech & Slovak Museum & Library or on the other side of the Cedar River. To kick off the weekend festivities, the National Czech & Slovak Museum & Library Guild are holding a Taste of Czech & Slovak from 5 to 7 p.m. Friday at St. Ludmila Catholic Church, 211 21st Ave. SW in Cedar Rapids. The rest of the weekend includes a Egg and Houby Breakfast, a car show, a tractor expo, National Bohemian, Moravian, and Slovak Folk Dance Festival, a parade, the crowning of the 2009 Miss Czech-Slovak Iowa Queen, carnival, musical entertainment and plenty of houby for all.

For a list of events, go here.

Houby Days and Taste of Czech & Slovak
Various times, Friday to Sunday (5/15-17), Czech Village, Cedar Rapids, www.czechheritagefoundation.org, www.ncsml.org or www.newbohemia.org

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Benz Beerfest
Saturday, May 16

Toast the start of summer at the 5th annual Benz Beerfest at Benz Beverage Depot. It The outdoor beer-tasting extravaganza features more than 75 delicious brews from all over the world, along with . Plus, they’ll have brewmasters on hand pouring their brews, live music and food. It’s an event so big they close down the street in front of the store. It’ll cost you $15 to get in, but you’ll not only get a souvenir tasting glass, you’ll be supporting the Cedar Rapids Downtown District (the organization the event benefits). We’ll drink to that! If you do go (which you should) come say hi to the Hoopla Crew!

Benz Beerfest
1 to 5 p.m., Saturday (05/16), Benz Beverage Depot, 501 Seventh Ave. SE, Cedar Rapids, $15, RSVP at (319) 365-2556 or www.benzbeveragedepot.com

THREE OTHER THINGS

American Craft Beer Week
1 to 4 p.m. Saturday (5/16)
Millstream Brewing Co., 835 48th Avenue, Middle Amana, (319) 622-3672, www.millstreambrewing.com
2 to 5 p.m., Granite City, 4755 First Ave. SE, Cedar Rapids, (319) 395-7500, www.gcfb.net

Martine Locke
7 p.m. Friday (5/15)
Hamburger Mary’s, 222 Glenbrook Dr. SE, Cedar Rapids, $3 cover charge after 8 p.m., www.hamburgermaryscr.com

Joe Cocker
8 p.m. Saturday (5/16)
Mississippi Moon Bar at the Diamond Jo Casino, 301 Bell St., Dubuque, $45, (563) 690-4800, www.diamondjo.com